Sunday, 29 May 2011

Jindagi Hai jo Jiye jaati hai

The above line is an apt description of my life currently. Now that my return to India is almost finalised I am again plunged with the same questions I have been fighting with for quite some time now. I think I am almost on the same stage where I was in 2010 when I was going back to India for good.

No I think there is a little difference there. That time I was looking forward to it at least a little bit. This time I don’t have any illusions about what lies ahead of me. I don’t have any hopes, expectations or any promises of bright future. I guess this is good in a way. Then anything I will get will bring only joy and no expectations means not getting hurt.

Everyone calls me a pessimist. I think its good to be a pessimist coz either you are proven right or are pleasantly surprised whatever the outcome is.

So the questions I keep repeatedly asking myself is where is my life headed? What do I want from it? Should I want anything or should I just go with the flow.
Frankly I haven’t got any answers yet. And not sure whether I ever will. It just that it’s now suffocating me again. I am trying real hard to enjoy and I think I have succeeded somewhat but the constant questions in my head keep eating away.

Not really sure what should/could be a solution of this. Just hoping I will know it once I see it in front of me. Till then

जिंदगी है जो जिए जा रही है, ख्वाब आँखों से सिये जा रही है 

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