Friday, 31 December 2010

Much Ado About...

31st Dec 2010..

Another new year eve, another set of satisfactions, miseries,achievements are now behind me and some new targets, new friends,new hopes, dreams, may be more heartbreaks are stored for 2011...

I don't remember when actually I stopped celebrating the prospect of a new coming year. May be since 2001 but cant be sure. As far back as I can remember its been like any other new year eve every year. The good part about it is its my choice. Its not been forced on me like some of the painful decision which have been enforced lately.

So I don't regret this choice. Everybody around me is celebrating and I really like watching the near and dear ones welcoming the each new year with same zeal, enthusiasm. People come up with so many varied plans for this day. I hate saying sorry to these enthu public but alas cant help.

Don't get me wrong. I love celebrating. I celebrate the first rain, the first dew drops of the season, My family/Friends' happy moments, Sachin's every century, Roger's every match, Arsenal's winnings and so on...There are lots of things around worth celebrating. But celebrating new year doesn't make that list sadly.

I have always been scared of unknown so I am more scared of the new year than looking forward to it. You get used to the tone of the passing year and its very hard to change the tune. I am an advocate of adventures and exploring the new lands. But those are still tangible things. Someone has already been there that's the reason it doesn't feel like an unknown so it doesn't hold any fear for me. But silly me is always scared of the coming year. May be I have seen my dreams broken year after year. The things I hope for never coming true. Dunno its really weird.

Somehow I cant see any reason to celebrate. what to celebrate, loosing one more golden year from your life?? This principle applies to my birthday celebration too. It feels like you are celebrating that you are growing old. Anyways that what I feel. Most of you will surely disagree but that's what make each of us different. Isn't it?

So another year is departing..another year is on horizon..Will I ever feel like celebrating this day ever again..May be one day I will conquer my fears and this will happen too...

Wishing everyone a very happy 2011.

Thursday, 23 December 2010

Waqt Ne Kiya Kya Haseen Sitam...

Last couple of days I was drawn to the cinema and music from the era 40-60. While looking at all the movies and the rise of spectacular music director S.D Burman I was sidetracked by the life story of Guru Dutt and Geeta Dutt.

Started listening to the songs of movies Pyasa and Kaagaz ke phool. The Song  Waqt ne Kiya has since haunted me. Agreed I have listened to this song many times before. Who wouldn't after it being one of the all time bests but this time it just took my breath away. May be the circumstances, the gloomy weather, the life story of Dutt's or may be all of them combined has this effect on me. But whatever is the reason, I think finally I have come to find the real soul of this song.

What a haunting voice of Geetaji.The song seems to reverberate with her life and tragedies. What an unhappy marriage and alcohol can do to people.

Waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam
Tum rahe na tum ham rahe na ham
Waqt ne kiya…

Beqaraar dil is tarha mile
jis tarha kabhi ham juda na the
Tum bhi kho gaye, ham bhi kho gaye
Ek raah par chalke do qadam
Waqt ne kiya…

Jaayenge kaha sujhta nahi
chal pade magar raasta nahi
Kya talaash hai kuchh pata nahi
Bun rahe hain dil khaab dam-ba-dam
Waqt ne kiya…

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

मैत्रिण - Wishing you a Very Happy Birthday

मैत्रिण...a friend, a companion, a stable support, Sakhi, someone you can turn to for everything from a small issue of which lipstick to choose to a breakup :) Basically a person whom you can almost always rely to be there for you.

I have been lucky to get soo many good girl friends over the period and I am thankful to everyone for being there for me even when I behave like a kid or have been miserable/self centered/depressed.

Today writing this blog to wish my best friend a very happy birthday..each birthday reminds me of all those years we have spend together.Lahanpanachya tya aathavani, te rusave fugave, te ekatra abhays karane.

I met Ruta in 8th Std. I had recently shifted to this big city and was already scared to be in big school. When I first saw Ru was a day when she was thoroughly enjoying a huge fight with another girl. To tell frankly, I was kinda scared of her. Then after some days she walked up to me and said ,'Vahalkar lets study together'. Now who was I to say no to this 'dada' of our class. So I said fine and I went to her house to study. From that day onwards we havent looked back. With some people they are just meant to be there in your life and you just hit it of. Asech kahise zhale and I never knew when I realised Ru is not at all like the girl which I first saw and was scared of. Ti tar ekdum sahani sutasarakhi saral ;) mlagi aahe. We continued our studies together till 10th std. Those three years have been awesome. We had our ups and downs but we stood together throughout. We cried together due to tension of coming exams, we laughed together on our silly jokes.

After 10th our ways parted, she went off to Pune to study and I stayed back. After that however we tried, we planned but till now we never have been able to stay in a some city for considerable amont of time. May be we will get that chance again in near future. I always thank god that we shifted to chiplun and I met Ru.

These days it seems our roles have been reversed. Previously I was the silent companion and these days Ru has been my stable sea shore. I come to her for support, for understanding. Her maturity,sensitivity and understanding always give me strength to fight my battles and survive the storms.

I remember some lines from Sandeep Khare's Poem

मैत्रिण माझी स्वच्छ दुपार, मैत्रिण माझी संध्याकाळ
माझ्या अबोल तहानेसाठी मैत्रिण भरलेले आभाळ

Happy Birthday Ru...I know all your wishes will come true.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Main to Ainvayi Ainvayi Lut gayi

This weekend I was on a movie spree. I don't honestly remember when I saw three back to back movies in theater. We are exploiting the Cineworld tickets in UK( That's my personal opinion though I am not complaining :P). So as usual my over ambitious plan included watching morning show of Megamind too, which would have resulted into 4 movies. Fortunately/Unfortunately I didn't get up in time for the only show of the day.

We decided to go for Movie 'The Tourist'. Johnny Depp is by far one of the very few leading guys, whom most of the junta loves. After Tourist we saw the awesomely refreshing 'Band Bajja Baraat' which have a foot tapping number 'Main to Ainvayi Ainvayi lut gaya'. So you now know where the title of the blog has come from. To end the day I saw Chronicles of Narnia : The Voyage of Dawn Treader.I will review the movies in separate posts.And btw, after coming home i watched Chocolate on Zee Cinema too.

After all this chit chat,I will come to the main topic of the blog now. The song leads to one of my unfulfilled dreams. Dance. To some people dancing comes so easily but I can't dance more than few of my routine steps. For all my efforts I can't actually move my legs while dancing which makes me very very conscious of my dancing and eventually limits my enjoyment. What will I give to dance freely. Music is like a passion. Though I don't sing. But without Music my life will become soulless. Everyday when I am listening to any foot tapping number or any romantic song I visualise what steps I can take on this song.

When the song 'Ainvayi Ainvayi' started on the screen I felt like jumping on my feet and start dancing. The energy shown by Anushka Sharma and Ranveer Singh is so contagious. I have now already visualised myself dancing on this number in Jenny's marriage :) So this is one of the things in my 'To Do' list and I will definitely try to complete this at least once on that occasion.

The song also reminds me of something entirely different. The word 'Ainvayi' is a Punjabi word which means 'Aise hi' or 'Just Like That'. So basically the line means main to aise hi lut gayi..Without any reason. I can kinda relate to it. I am sure many of us can relate to this feeling of helplessness when u can see the things you cherished most are being taken away from you. God never asks your permission nor does fate.They come and rob you just like that..Ainvayi..some say its written in stars, some say its purane janmo ka phal. I don't know what to believe anymore but it sure doesn't seem right any which way.

There is this one line in one of the Lata Mangeshkar's song..'Koi lut jaata hai.....koi Loot jata hai..The word is same but how u pronounce it makes all the difference.

Monday, 13 December 2010

My First blog

So....finally I have decided to do something different today. Rather than thinking over my endless plans finally I have actually actioned one of them :)

My blogs will be about my dreams, my Plans..most of them unfulfilled, some of them might not have turned out as I wanted them to be and some of them are so satisfyingly done.

My list of 'Things to do' keep on increasing with every new day. The thing is I always cling on to it as if my whole life depends on it. May be that's what is keeping me functioning normally and that's why I don't want to complete those coz after that there might not be anything that will hold me to reality.

So I will try to put my feelings on this blog whenever the thoughts will crowd my head, thoughts which won't let me breath. The blog will be like my pensive where I can remove my thoughts and analyse them at some leisure time. Seems like a good idea.. Don't you think?