Thursday, 22 December 2011

Happy Blogging Anniversary to me...

12 Dec has come and gone and I never realised it was the first anniversary of my blogging. Yes, its been one year since I wrote my first time surely flies...I never thought I would continue writing(that shows how much confidence I have in myself :P) but I have proven me wrong in a good way.

I am happy to discover this hobby. I am not writing as a professional blogger. My blogs are purely for me..As an outlet for my joy, pain, anguish and helplessness. Blogging has given me the much needed platform to express my thoughts.

There was a time when I would have scoffed at this thought. Why would you need blogging when you have so many friends to whom you can talk to about anything and everything I might have asked.

But as time has passed I haven't lost any friends. But with the passage of time I have found out who was true and who was never really there for me. This revelation was a massive blow.I who used to be proud of having so many groups of friends realised what an illusion I have created around me.

So once the realisation came, I cherished/admire those who are still there with me more and more. And now blogging has become my friend whom I can tell anything and everything

I just pray to god that I would never lose my this friend.

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Why I have to be such a Fool

Ok this Blog is self flagellation blog. So you want to get out you can just stop reading right now.

So again I have made such a fool of myself. I don’t understand how I can keep doing the same mistakes again and again... I mean even a kid will learn not to put a finger in fire once they have burnt it once. Am I so dumb? I have started questioning my sanity these days...after going through so many setbacks I keep doing same stuff over and over again and getting hurt in the process.

They say 'The most difficult phase in your life is not when no one understands you; it’s when you don’t understand yourself' I think I am currently in this phase. I don’t understand what I want. I don’t understand why I can’t keep the promises I have made with myself. Am I hopeless and deserve whatever is happening in life?

I sometimes get tired of being the strong person or hiding my pain for ppl. I get tired of being the one who always ‘Understands’ and that’s why always taken for granted. I am tired of this. For once I want to be vulnerable.

But I guess being strong is my biggest shield to deflect potentials scars. I think I should keep up this appearance so I will be saved even from myself.

Friday, 16 December 2011

Move to New office...

Ohh I am so happy..We are moving to the office in City by Jan first week.

4 years back, we were in this same situation, when our managers have suggested a move to ICC. Though that time I had one of my rare hissy fits against the move. At that time the Pune University flyover work was in progress and it was right pain to even venture near that area. A mere 4 KM distance from Aundh to Office used to take almost an hour to travel which used to include a bumpy ride in PMT bus and then almost a long, hot walk from university to office.

So we were totally against the change. I mean by that time we had known only one office and it was somehow emotional to leave the place which we have become used to for past two years.

My manager at that time, to convince me and curb my opposition rightly pointed out the usefulness of the new Office. A big Crosswords (Pune's biggest I believe) in the office building. How can I resist that temptation..Though on second thoughts I need to watch out for it now as well, as I have this habit(bad/Good???) of buying a book whenever I enter that place.

So now back to present tense. The situation is totally different. After coming back from UK, my project was again in Hinjewadi office. The main issue about this place is I have to solely depend on office transportation. Since I cant drive a car and don't have my Activa in Pune. So I have to come to office by 9 as the only bus available comes to my place at 8 and later in the evening since I have UK client almost invariable I am in office till 8. But since the next available bus is at 9 PM again. I have to wait. So now going back to city office will have this added advantage of coming and going according to workload

Also again, the shopping places are nearby and so as a days some very good restaurants have opened around the place. Plus all the teams which we work with are moving(Thank god for that ;))..So in short , I am getting all I wanted with this move :P so I am very happy.

This shows sometimes we look forward to the things we had hated at some point in our life. So the only thing that is constant in life is change...Whether its physical or a perspective change.