Ok this Blog is self flagellation blog. So you want to get out you can just stop reading right now.
So again I have made such a fool of myself. I don’t understand how I can keep doing the same mistakes again and again... I mean even a kid will learn not to put a finger in fire once they have burnt it once. Am I so dumb? I have started questioning my sanity these days...after going through so many setbacks I keep doing same stuff over and over again and getting hurt in the process.
They say 'The most difficult phase in your life is not when no one understands you; it’s when you don’t understand yourself' I think I am currently in this phase. I don’t understand what I want. I don’t understand why I can’t keep the promises I have made with myself. Am I hopeless and deserve whatever is happening in life?
I sometimes get tired of being the strong person or hiding my pain for ppl. I get tired of being the one who always ‘Understands’ and that’s why always taken for granted. I am tired of this. For once I want to be vulnerable.
But I guess being strong is my biggest shield to deflect potentials scars. I think I should keep up this appearance so I will be saved even from myself.
So again I have made such a fool of myself. I don’t understand how I can keep doing the same mistakes again and again... I mean even a kid will learn not to put a finger in fire once they have burnt it once. Am I so dumb? I have started questioning my sanity these days...after going through so many setbacks I keep doing same stuff over and over again and getting hurt in the process.
They say 'The most difficult phase in your life is not when no one understands you; it’s when you don’t understand yourself' I think I am currently in this phase. I don’t understand what I want. I don’t understand why I can’t keep the promises I have made with myself. Am I hopeless and deserve whatever is happening in life?
I sometimes get tired of being the strong person or hiding my pain for ppl. I get tired of being the one who always ‘Understands’ and that’s why always taken for granted. I am tired of this. For once I want to be vulnerable.
But I guess being strong is my biggest shield to deflect potentials scars. I think I should keep up this appearance so I will be saved even from myself.
Ash, I think I know what's that. If this is not what I am thinking then no need to read below :)
ReplyDeleteIt's more your nature of behaving the way you mentioned. And we can change our behavior but we can't change our nature. So don't change your nature, you are sweet .. best .. what you are. Just try to think on behavior. Don't worry about these things. I know it's difficult. But better to stop and change somethings now than later. And always be as you are .. we like you as you are :D