To My Mentor

Today its Omer's Last day in the organisation. Frankly I am not even part of that organisation but i have worked there as contractor.

When I first heard about Omer was when my manager told me that I have a client interview lined up and the client manager will call me on my mobile at so and so time. Understandably I was very nervous and scared. By luck for the first three years I never faced Client interview and directly got added into project. I was not new to client interaction. I had done that in my previous projects. But when you say the word interview the tension and nervousness goes hand in hand. So when Omer called at first I didn't get his accent at all. But later it was more of conversation than an interview. He had already decided to onboard me based on the feedback he received from my previous clients. So he was very cool and made me at ease immediately.

When I reached London, I was totally in awe of him. I interacted more with Emily and was in constant fear that I will do something wrong and O will scold me. When I told him that I was scared of him at the start he didn't believe me..But I really was. Later on when I was kinda settled I got to know Em and O much better. Under the hard Exterior I found that they were really good,caring people. Even though I was from vendor side, Even though I was an outsider they really considered me part of the team. They cared for me and not just the work.They made me belong there. In London, In the team.

O was especially caring. He always frowned even if I so much as touched a glass of Alcohol.He knew my interest in Tennis and actually got me 2 free 50 pound passes for the semi Final of Barclay's ATP Finale in 2009. That was really touching.

I learned loads from him.He taught me how to make split second decisions and how to handle tough Business Users. How to protect your team and make them feel good about being in the project or doing the work.Always back your team mates in front of others. How to keep good balance between work and life. I remember there was a drinks party for some reason or other. Our team didn't needed much of an encouragement to flee the office and convene in Chi noodles anyways. So that day I was working late in office due to one of the issues. After I finished work I thought its too late to join so went straight to home. O called me at 9.30 and asked me where I was.When I told him why i was not able to join he scolded me for working late and told me in case there comes any similar situation later i shouldn't be waiting late in office and I should tell users to wait for till next day. Though we(me and O) used to be the last ones leaving for the day most of the days.

Initially O was not very happy to let go of Vijender. I was his replacement. So O was unsure whether I would be able to do the work properly and all. Later he admitted to me that He should have called me earlier in this project and he was wrong to assume I wont be able to handle things. That was really touchy. I Really admired his honesty. Since he was client manager he did not have to let me know this. There was no compulsion so that made this admission real special for me.

He is also a Taurus. Is this the reason for the very good rapport between us? I don't know. But the thing we agreed on most was we Taurus are stubborn :P

The project would never feel the same again without him. I will really miss him. I wish all the very best for him and really hope we will work together in future.

Wake me up when September ends

An Apt song from Green day for me..Thats why I love Green Day. I think the other song ' I walk the lonely road' is also made for me..anyways I think being the music buff and too much thinker (most of the times overly thinking stuff) I can relate to almost all songs by some way or other.

Anyways this blog is not about my love for music. This song is apt for me because since last 10 years I have dreaded September like never before. I dont even remember September having any importance in my life before that. It was just another month. I didnt have anything to remember it by..No birthdays of significance not any Anniversaries. But September of 2001 changed everything for me.

Yes it was a tragic month for world too when US saw its biggest terror attack on 9/11 but for me personally 29th September was the Black Saturday for my life. I still see that day, I still live it in every September and not just then but everytime when I miss my Dad which is pretty much all the time. I still dont have come to terms with Babulnath and Hajiaali which I visited that day in morning. Nor could I ever forget that Idli which I forcefully ate in Panvel on way to home in evening.

They say time heals the wounds, but I dont know whether this wound would ever heal. Its been 10 years and I am still struggeling to get through. Every happy moment, every achivement has this missing piece in it. There are some people in your life whose place no one will ever be able to take. He is one of those few. I would always miss him and dread the September every year. I love you Baba. Will always miss you

Super Serb/ SuperNovak!!!!!!!!

In Chinese, they always have the year associated with some Animal and they call it Year of Dragon, Year for Dog etc. I think in Tennis too this concept should be applied.We have Years of Rog in 2005,06,07, then 08 and 09 were split between Rog and Rafa. 2011 was Year of Rafa and 2011 has been Year of Novak or should we call him SuperNova(k)!!!!!

Last year US open was the turning point of Nole I guess. When Roger and Rafa were fighting it out between them who would be the top man in tennis, Djokovic was constantly the 3rd best for past 4 years. He always used to be an Outsider and was considered one Grand slam wonder by many, including me. How he has proved us all wrong. According to him its that Davis cup win and a change in the diet!!!! For me its tough to accept the explanation. I am not doubting his ability. He is a great player. He has both attacking and defensive game. But what was problematic was his stamina, health and giving up on the match if he starts losing. He literally changed all that in a span of a month.

Whatever may be the reason behind it, but what we have now is a supremely confident Novak Djokovic. There was one time when I used to like him. But not in recent times.But I am impressed.What a year he is having just makes you speechless.He is winning matches and tournaments week in week out and in the process have defeated almost all of the top order. Roger 4 times and Nadal 6 times and for Nadal it were all finals. Thats a huge thing and no one would have considered it possible last year.

Last year Nadal was cruising. His fans have even crowned him as GOAT even if he still has less slams than Federer. Everybody thought he will do what no one has been ever able to do after Laver. I.e. to win 4 consecutive Grand slams. And in all furor no one took notice of the Djoker. He was clinically dismantling his opponents and won the Australian Open. No one thought much about it as he already have won the slam once. So no big deal right? But then came the masters and his streak continued. He was almost touching McEnroe's Streak of 46 consecutive wins but for Roger. Roger showed the world that he is not finished as predicted. He can still take out the most Red hot guy and he is 30. Who knows what would have happened if Roger have lost in that match. May be Rafa would have pulled one back or Nole would have continued his streak till now.

Today his record stands for 64-2. The two losses are to Federer in French Open SF and retirement against Murray in Cinni. And why I felt like writing about him is not just his no. of wins but some of the matches he played this year were spectacular. He played Roger with great defence in AO 11 and then played Nadal's game and more in Wimbledon and US open. These matches were a spectacle of Tennis though I don't personally like the grinding, retrieving baseline tennis but still they were spectacles. Even I couldn't stop saying wow in many of the US open final Rallies.

Hats of to Novak. Of course I have my own agenda/motive/selfish interest in Novak's rise this year. He has single handedly stopped Rafa from running away with grand slams and equalling Roger's record. Those people who used to throw at me the fact that Rafa always defeats roger and hence should be considered great have got this one to explain. This now is a good circle we have at top of men's tennis. Nole beats Rafa, Rafa beats Roger and Roger beats Nole (sometimes :P).

This will be great for the world of tennis and lets see whose's year it would be 2012

Francisco d'Anconia - Greatest Tragic Hero ever?

The most important question that has been asked throughout 'Atlas Shrugged' is "who is John Galt?" Yes correct we know John is the mysterious man, the brain behind strike, in many peoples' eyes the true hero of the book.

But I would like to ask "Who is Francisco d'Anconia?" Do we really know him when we read the first two volumes of the book? He is the mystery man hiding in plain sight. Every time he appears in a scene you feel the excitement of whats he is going to throw at us. How he is going to break all our preconceived motions about him? Is he really is the international playboy, an incompetent rich boy who likes to spend his fortune? Dagny's past and childhood memories tell us its not right. But his present image force you to face the contradiction.

For me, the main hero of the book is Francisco..The Childhood friend of Eddie and Dagny. Frisco. The child who knew how to be truly happy. The teen who wants to take d'Anconia fortunes to even bigger heights than it ever reached. The man who sticks to his principles of not working for the looters. The Man who precisely and deliberately plotted the destruction of the most important thing in his life 'd'Anconia Copper' and in the process lost the most important person, his one and only love Dagny.

The night when Dagny met him last, where she gets the glimpse of the toughest choice that lies in front of him is what defines Frisco. He knows what he has to do. And he knows that this battle might make Dagny hate him forever still he knows his friend Galt is right.But the pain he knows that choice will be giving to Dagny is what he hated most about it. Man you need guts to do that.

His was the greatest influence on Dagny's upbringing. He was her first love. He breaks her trust the most. At least it seems to be that way till the end. He always seem to be carefree and mocking. But when the people who matter to him like Dagny and Hank Rearden don't understand the facade and he cannot explain to them his true reasons, then his vulnerability is truly displayed.

It breaks my heart to get him beaten and ridiculed by people. The moment he knows that he has lost Dagny is the most brutal to feel. You actually feel the pain seeping through the book into you. The aim of his battle was ultimately to get Dagny. Though he wins his fight against looters but he loses much more in the process. Even Galt acknowledges this. He says to Frisco once "Of all of us who are fighting this, you are the one who has to suffer the most". How true!!!!

He will always remain Dagny's past. Through Frisco and Dagny we get to know that though the past is influential and driving force in our life we cant recapture or relive it. How much ever we try hard to keep holding on to it.

For me Frisco is the most tragic hero you can ever have. And how i would love to change the end of the book to correct this. But if it was so then Atlas shrugged wouldn't be the book that i have come to love.
Francisco I will always love you :)

A Failed Trek to Sinhgad!!!

This Saturday, we decided to go to Sinhgad for my first trek of the year or this monsoon. Jenny already went there week before with her cousin and they came back in good time. I missed out that day as i had to come to office :( so I was looking forward to this Saturday's outing.

On Friday eve, NM mentioned he might not be able to make it as we had to leave quite early. So it left only me,Jenny, CK and Vijay P from Jenny's team. On Friday night somehow I had trouble sleeping. Was that excitement of the upcoming adventure? no I don't think so. Its not like I haven't been to Sinhgad before. So I am still not sure about the disturbed sleep..Anyways we got up quite early and just had tea and left around 7.

We drove to a small village at the bottom of Sinhgad called Aaktarwadi. We parked the car and started the Trek. Within minutes I realised I have lost all my stamina of the previous year. Still we climbed for more than half n hour and then the dizziness striked me. I still tried to continue for few more minutes by taking some rest and a sip of water. But I sadly realised my nausea and dizziness was increasing every minute and I was slowing these guys down.

So I decided to go down. These guys started climbing again. But where we had stopped the view was just awesome. There was no sun and the weather was cool. So I thought I will just wait there for few minutes before continuing down. But the silence was so refreshing and inviting I just couldn't get up. I Sat and I sat. This sudden turn in situation gave me much needed "Alone Time" which was necessary for some serious thinking. I realised few things or I confessed few things to myself which I was avoiding in the past

The prominent thing which was immediately apparent for me to see is  that I am loosing my fighting spirit.I am not saying I have lost it completely but if I don't watch out that day is not far away. I used to be proud of my fighting spirit and my mental strength. I think I am giving up on things a bit too quickly. So this shows I need to get back my #1 strength ASAP.

The other important thing was the state of my stamina. I mean I am not saying I could have run up the whole Sinhgad before but I need to get back my stamina. I have got swimsuits over weekend and will start swimming this week to get some of it bk.

Next thing was how much I enjoyed being alone. There was a point in not so distant past where I used to get restless or depressed if I think I am alone and there is no one for me/around me. No plans to look forward too etc but this time I really enjoyed this solitary vigil. They say when you can enjoy with oneself you wont need any company to be happy always. Was this the thing I was missing in my life? was I too dependent on everyone else for my happiness. Its too early to say but this Failed trek has given me a glimpse of how I can make the most of such alone time.

I think the lines from the movie 'Zindagi Na Milegi Doobara' (which incidentally I saw the same day in evening and about it I will write separately) are very apt

देर हुई लेकिन मैंने अब है जीना सिख लिया,

कैसे भी हो दिन मैंने अब है  जीना सिख लिया,

अब मैंने, ये जाना है, ख़ुशी है क्या, गम क्या,

दोनों ही है, दो पल की रुतें, न ये ठहेरे न रुके,

ज़िन्दगी दो रंगों से बने, अब रूठे अब मने,

यहीं तो है, यहीं तो है, यहाँ

देर हुई लेकिन मैंने अब है जीना सिख लिया,

आंसुओ के बिन मैंने अब जीना सिख लिया.

Things to do before I am 30 - Part I

wow...the title is daunting..When I always come to my blog post to write about it, it makes me think that I am loosing time...as Kareena said in JWM "Aisa lag raha hai ki meri train miss ho rahi hai". I don't even realise where all these years have gone. Me thinks I will have to split this blog into two parts. One part to talk about the life before today and another to plot the next year to make most of it before 30.

I am coming to this blog after almost a month and now have to hurry to finish it by end of today.Tomorrow will be my last birthday in the twenties and then there will be exactly one year I will have before I will turn thirty. Time is running out not just on the things to do but even to finish this blog as well :(

So as you can see by the date I was not able to update this by the time of my birthday. And now I have already lost almost 1 and half months of my one year before 30. I think jindagi aise hi nikal jaayegi when you keep planning rather than actually doing anything :P

So now lets begin of the notable things I have done or not done till now. These things might not be all goody goody but none the less had a major impact on my life or have changed me in some ways or other. Lets split them into 'Not so Pleasent' and 'very satisfying' categories. I am now getting all those 'Not so Pleasant ' things out of my way first

• The only regret I will have for rest of my life is I didn't get any gift for dad when I went back for Diwali during my first year of engineering. It was not like I was earning and I haven't got something. But I never got a chance to do that when I actually started working. So this is a massive regret I will have to live with. May be this is the reason why I keep getting gifts to all my loved ones every time.
• I got first class from 4th semester through out. Now this is a good thing in itself but it was too little to late for dad to see. He was very happy to see me getting even second class for my 3rd Sem so I keep imagining how he would have reacted for my first class. So even if everybody will consider getting a first class is good thing but for me too it was too little too late.
• Same goes with my job and my stay in London. He would have been so proud.When I saw Mom coming out of the terminal on Heathrow I was overjoyed coz mom was in London as well as extremely sad coz dad was not. Human emotions are so funny. You can feel two extreme emotions at the same time
• The next thing is kind of recurring. Over the period of time I have become so good at falling for wrong guys its getting scary and scarry both. At one point I was proud of myself for actually 'knwoing' people. But now I no longer have that faith/trust in myself and I am afraid to trust another guy. All current problems I am facing right now have the root in the trust issues I am having.
• There was a point in my life when I had gone into cocoon. That was unfair to many people who genuinely cared and got hurt by my behavior. I have decided that no matter what happens I will never do this mistake again.

I know the above things are a very broad version but if given the chance I would like to change these or at least some of these.

Now lets cheer up a bit. Below are the things which really make me happy.Even today just thinking about them I get this huge smile on my face.

• During my stay in London, I finally convinced my mum to come there to visit. When mom walked out on Heathrow that was the most wonderful experience of my life and even today make me so proud of myself
•  Being a Tennis buff, going to Wimbledon during the championship weeks was a real treat. From the age of 4-5 years I have watched Wimbledon with awe.The traditions, Strawberries and cream,the overall atmosphere was a big pull. So to experience it in person was one of the many dreams come true
• I make a bold decision to buy 50 pound ticket per session for 3 days in ATP world Tours 2009. Its the year end tournament between world's top 8 tennis players. And the most important part was I get to see ROGER FEDERER play live...that too twice...Being a die hard Fed Fan that was something special.I almost fainted with joy the first time I caught glimpse of him just few feet away from me.
• I am afraid of heights..I mean I cant even climb on a chair and don't feel scared. So when I agreed to do Paragliding in Swiss (Interlaken) I even surprised myself. It was a scary and exhilarating experience at the same time. The feeling of 'I can Fly' was worth the trouble :)
• Going to Arsenal matches and visiting Wembley Stadium (for a rather dull England Vs France match) were the highlights for the football fan in me. The Arsenal Vs Everton match was Epic. Not because of the quality of the match but because of our experience. We Got the members passes and sitting amidest all die hard Arsenal fans. Sandy and Smitesh were neutral so they had to worry about this more :D It was a really wonderful experience. Thank God Arsenal Won that match 2-1 otherwise the man sitting next to Smithy would have cried.
• I have made if not the most then almost most of my stay in UK by  travelling around. Been to Paris twice (My most favorite city), Swiss, Holland(Amsterdam), Italy(Rome). Almost all of UK(except Irland). I have visited the 'The Da Vinci Code' landmarks as well as 'The Angles & Damons' landmarks, Now the next destination should be Washington DC to follow 'The Lost Symbol' landmarks isn't it? :D

On this note I will wrap up the Part I. In the next blog I will add what I want to still do which is also a very big list ;)

Offshore Impact

Now its been a week and a half since I have joined Pune office. Lots of things have changed here over the period of years I have been with this company. The most drastic difference is I don't see many familiar faces around. I am not saying previously as well I used to know everyone. But at least by sight many people were familiar. I am missing that familiarity. It feels like I have come to a totally new company and starting all over again

In a way yes I am starting all over again. I think by the time I don't buy a house somewhere which I can call my own (mom's home is always my home but its not near and I cant go there everyday :( ) I will feel this way I guess.

From last 11 years I am out of my home. First it was Hostel then it was Pune for job. Then London. I have lost count of the houses I have stayed in during this period of time. That's why the feeling of not belonging to a single place.

Anyways I am diverting. So I was talking about all the changes I have seen in my colleagues since I have come back. To say I am disappointed is an understatement. I cannot see the professionalism that has been engraved into us when we join the company. Notable example was in canteen. When I went for lunch and I waited behind few people who were standing to place orders. I keep seeing people coming in between and giving orders. Finally after 5 minutes I asked my team mate whether I am standing in correct line. He said ki 'Aap line mein khade rahe to aapka number aane tak lunch khatam ho jaayega' . Same thing when I was waiting to get my order. I can understand everyone wants their orders to be done fast but 5 minutes se kya farak padata hai.

Same goes with travelling in office buses. When you are trying to get in people push you back and get in. I mean its not a train that if u don't get in withing stipulated time you will miss it.

Notably all these my colleagues behave so different when they are at client location. They behave with utmost care to make themselves presentable, mannered, well read and demanding respect. Why should we behave that way only at Client location or in other countries. If we start behaving the same way and observing the decorum at our own office we don't have to strive hard to do that in other places. We don't have to attend "Special Training" before going to onsite.

My rant is not at any particular person nor I am pointing at anyone. Now this is collective behaviour. I am not comparing life and manners in UK to India. That would be very unfair. I am just comparing the company environment I knew 3 years back to now. Even before going to abroad all these manners were engraved in us through example by our seniors or by the training guys. All the new trainees behave respectfully and with conscious mind. These days I don't see that anywhere.

And then we crib about the state of India. After such high education, such good opportunities if we cant behave in respectful manner what right we have to blast other people that they are rude, uneducated, not well mannered and are responsible for the state of India we are in. Everybody thinks why I should be the only one doing things right when everyone is doing it other way. But I guess you can lead by example or even if you cant change the whole situation you will get satisfaction of being at least true to you.

We the educated people, we the fortunate ones can make a difference if we decide. Then India wont be behind all those foreign countries we so want to fly to, to just get out of India.