31st Dec 2010..
Another new year eve, another set of satisfactions, miseries,achievements are now behind me and some new targets, new friends,new hopes, dreams, may be more heartbreaks are stored for 2011...
I don't remember when actually I stopped celebrating the prospect of a new coming year. May be since 2001 but cant be sure. As far back as I can remember its been like any other new year eve every year. The good part about it is its my choice. Its not been forced on me like some of the painful decision which have been enforced lately.
So I don't regret this choice. Everybody around me is celebrating and I really like watching the near and dear ones welcoming the each new year with same zeal, enthusiasm. People come up with so many varied plans for this day. I hate saying sorry to these enthu public but alas cant help.
Don't get me wrong. I love celebrating. I celebrate the first rain, the first dew drops of the season, My family/Friends' happy moments, Sachin's every century, Roger's every match, Arsenal's winnings and so on...There are lots of things around worth celebrating. But celebrating new year doesn't make that list sadly.
I have always been scared of unknown so I am more scared of the new year than looking forward to it. You get used to the tone of the passing year and its very hard to change the tune. I am an advocate of adventures and exploring the new lands. But those are still tangible things. Someone has already been there that's the reason it doesn't feel like an unknown so it doesn't hold any fear for me. But silly me is always scared of the coming year. May be I have seen my dreams broken year after year. The things I hope for never coming true. Dunno its really weird.
Somehow I cant see any reason to celebrate. what to celebrate, loosing one more golden year from your life?? This principle applies to my birthday celebration too. It feels like you are celebrating that you are growing old. Anyways that what I feel. Most of you will surely disagree but that's what make each of us different. Isn't it?
So another year is departing..another year is on horizon..Will I ever feel like celebrating this day ever again..May be one day I will conquer my fears and this will happen too...
Wishing everyone a very happy 2011.